Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I will be naked everywhere
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize