Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
