Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
