By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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