i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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