I am in a vortex of obligation.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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