A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
