A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
