would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
