Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
