mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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