rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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