I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
