And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
