I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
