in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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