Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize