everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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