Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
