i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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