Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
