theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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