i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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