oh god the rape fog is back!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
