i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize