I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
