I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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