so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
