no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
