Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
