sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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