just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Randomize