my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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