A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
