3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
