glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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