You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
