So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize