so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize