now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
