I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
