I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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