i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
