He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The Olympian is in my bed
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