Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
