btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
