Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
