Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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