yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i wish my penis had a tongue
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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