You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
