he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
this is an emotional support booty call
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