told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
