She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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