She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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