fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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