Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
