I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
