elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Someone shattered a urinal.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
