after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's never too late to be topless.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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