He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
