When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
